Can You Believe It?

Howdy there Internet folks, I was just figuring it's time to fire up the ol' blogging machine, and whip up a fresh batch of blog. I know how the young'uns do enjoy it.

So this is an update about pop culture oddities that, in retrospect, it might be difficult to believe existed.

1) Chris Gaines - So here's the deal, back in 1999, Garth Brooks, awful country singer, decides ruining country music isn't enough. He'd really like to ruin rock muic too. So, Garth Brooks creates the alter ego of Chris Gaines, an Australian rock star. Everyone knows it's Garth Brooks, but Brooks never explicitly states he is Gaines. A fake backstory and a fake discography are created, and a "Greatest Hits" cd, full of crappy nineties "alt rock". Vh1 ran a Chris Gaines Behind the Music, and Chris Gaines appeared as a musical guest on SNL. Brooks dressed up as Gaines, including a weird little goatee and a floppy black wig. Do I really have to explain to you people how ridiculous this whole thing is? Imagine the reverse. Eddie Vedder dressing in an oversized cowboy hat and skintight wranglers, calling himself "Hank Jones" and singing about cousin love. Wait a second, that's hilarious, why didn't he do that?

2) No One Would Tell - This little charmer is a movie from 1996. Here's the IMDB summary

16-year old Stacy is asked out by hunk Bobby, and soon they're a couple. But Bobby is psychologically unstable and uses violence whenever Stacy does something out of line. Soon he controls what she does, who she meets and how she dresses. It's puppy love turned into a disaster.

Now the delightful details. Stacy is played by Candace Cameron, and Bobby is played by Fred Savage. The boy from The Wonder Years abuses the spirit out of the girl from Full House. Then he kills her. The judge at the murder trial is Sally Jesse Raphael. It's like the casting is some beautiful gift to everyone who loves tasteless crap. The other "actors" in the movie emote like 1st year drama students. So you don't forget it's the Nineties, no-name "grunge" plays constantly, and everyone wears boots. Just go watch it. Kevin slugs DJ, and you can really tell that he was thinking of Winnie Cooper the whole time.

3) You know what, I could go on, but there really is just too much unbelievably stupid stuff in the world. Macho Man Randy Savage put out a rap album. A film featured Gary Busey as an evil gingerbread man. Marvel Comics published the adventures of Superpro, a crime fighting football player in a uniform that gave him superpowers. David Arquette was once WCW wrestling champion. I could go on, but it's sort of depressing. Or wonderful.