Rockology

Hello dear Internet fans (all 2 of you). My goodness but hasn't it been a long time since this blog was updated? It has. That is verifiable science.

Enough of Science, the cold unfeeling robot of life. Onto Art, the shiftless parasitic slob of life. Which branch of the arts should I focus on today? Perhaps the fine art of moviemaking, where dreams and imagination are brought to life, and then used to sell cars and pizza. Or instead, should I rhapsodize on music, that which soothes the savage beast, with dulcet tones such as "My Humps" and "Hollaback Girl"?

Indeed, music it shall be. For your edification (and because I cannot think of anything funny to write), I shall play a little game. I am going to put my music collection on shuffle, and review the first five songs. Maybe I'll be lucky and get five really cool obscure songs and everyone will marvel at my eclectic grooviness. More likely, the five most embarrassing songs I own will pop up and I will be called "poseur" and "sellout" until my face melts.

1) "Let's Lynch the Landlord" - Dead Kennedeys - It has the wicked sense of humour that the Kennedeys did so well, but I am not crazy about the music itself. It lacks the over the top speed and catchiness of better DK songs like "When You Get Drafted" or "Terminal Preppie". It's still a lot better than anything by Jennifer Lopez for instance.

2) "Long Black Veil" - Mike Ness - This is a Johnny Cash cover from the lead singer of Social Distortion. It's not too good folks. The song plods along, and exposes every limitation in Ness' vocal range. The cd it's from is good, but this isn't. Try the Bastard Sons of Johnny Cash, for a cover of this done well.

3) "Quick Step" - The Adverts - Ah, the Adverts. One of British Punk's more overlooked bands in my opinion. There's a lot of youthful energy in this, and it really has that frenzied, "we are doing something new and exciting" vibe that the best punk rock has.

4) "Big Sky" - Reverend Horton Heat - Now this I like. A very revved up rockabilly instrumental, this sort of feels like it could be the soundtrack to a meth fueled neo-Western. It's cool driving music, the sort of thing you listen to when you just can't drive 55.

5) "Change the World" - The Offspring - Yes, I enjoy the Offspring. Excuse me while I blush in shame and hand in my punk elitist card. This song is off Ixnay on the Hombre. It's not horrible, but it certainly does not rank among the band's better songs. At four minutes long, its also feels bloated. This song overstays its welcome (I'd like it a lot more if it was more to the point) and then adds on a minute of silence and a "funny" sound clip. I tend to skip over this track, but I don't loathe it.

And those are the facts. If you disagree, I may cry, and do you really want to do that to me?